Step #-2
Finding the one meant for you.
It seemed like a roller coaster that started here and ended there. Fact is that the ups and downs, the butterflies all the stirring emotions the seemingly sure feelings of impending death. Gave way to a somewhat experienced view of this world of online dating, “What a ride.” I had my eyes open and was paying attention. Make no mistake, in fact you don’t have too, because I have made them all.
First:
I was looking for a wife
That was a mistake.
Let me explain.
It is a noble and worthy quest! But the completely wrong mindset to have.
And very dangerous in the online dating world.
(If you seek you will find.)
And that is true for both sides of this ” dating thing” online. “They” are looking! and “They” will find you.
There is no shortage of everything you can call it- scam, scammers, catfish, liars, cheaters and thief’s. They come with every degree of experience and professionalism, on to just the confused and needy, choosing the untruth as a vehicle out of there circumstances.
The latter of which we will spend some time discussing because they are mostly just desperate and mistakenly mislead not truly ill in intent.
The former we will not spend a lot of time discussing because they have already spent the time and they are good at what they do but recognizable to us.
They understand human nature, emotion and need, they will take advantage and exploit you, Take your money and ruthlessly, callously break your heart and worse, is they will destroy your ability to trust even yourself.
Be aware, look for there tools, First the profile picture, it is a lure they are fishing, Don’t bite.
Look for something real not staged and made up. naughty, naughty you cant have the centerfold, they are not real.
Second tool they use is tell you exactly what you want to hear, this is not a dream wake up!
A real person will not give themselves away immediately, real people are conservative out of necessity it is instinct to shield yourself it is a natural occurrence.
My findings are that here in the USA. We are itchy and forward, compared to the rest of the world.
The people from far away are modest and humble, only the untruthful will throw themselves at you.
Do not fall for promises that will not be kept.
If it is Real it will not feel hurried or, present as a burden to you. “Real people do not exploit themselves.“ Do not fall for cam girls or boys just say nope.
Back to the mindset,- They will use the emotions and short sightedness of the emotions involved in looking for a wife / husband to deceive you.
A Correct mindset is – looking for commonality in activity and interest, be real with yourself. You only know what you come from, and if you have not studied the country and culture of a person you cannot pretend to understand that person.
So this is a good starting point for new friends; a partnership of sharing and acquiring knowledge of a new person, people, country, language, customs, religious beliefs, traditions, events Ect.
Remember this needs to be going in both directions. If it is real, you will be interested in them and they will be just as interested in you.
A health new friendship will be a curious and willing and patient and have a want of understanding.
Willing to speak of the detail of every subject, it will be fun and exciting. Compatible personality will evoke creativity, it will find a way to communicate.
Truth is enduring and powerful it always wins, in its simplicity, “Truth is simply truth,” its comfortable and productive it feels relaxing and it has a feeling learn to recognize it.
There are many different cultures around the world and they differ greatly, most of them are fashioned somewhat by the predominant religion of the country it will have a reputation, and the character of the people from that culture will also have identifiable traits. You can find this info through casual study.
The importance in understanding culture is to have a chance of understanding the internalized values of a person coming from that culture.
How do they derive there sense of self worth, what does there culture recognize as success? what is recognized as a good man or woman in that culture? what are the cultural demands put upon people, from that culture? What does there culture say they owe to there family? there community? there god? there husband or wife?
You need to understand these things to understand a person. Taking the time to ask and seek the answers is an act of love and caring.
“You will get out of this what you put into it”.
The understanding of the different cultures may be the best direction finder to start your journey toward the one you seek. For example, generally speaking, a Asian will always be dedicated to there filial duty first.
Arab woman will be solely dedicated to there Husband.
Americans may have dedications of paternal or maternal or themselves there individual religious belief but always over shadowed by a culture of divorce for profit. Ask yourself the question what do I want.
Answer that question then go find, “That.”
When you find a friend, and you will, you need to be from the very beginning, and continue to integrate it “honesty” into every detail of the developing relationship. Or you will sabotage yourself, “ beware” you are your own worst enemy, be absolutely truthful to yourself, and let that be what manifests its self to your online personality.
Truth is everything, “There can be no love without truth.”
Now we are going to start narrowing this discussion down to my personal journey. First Russia, a costly experience, what a naïve, virgin target I was. A easy mark, but not a fool and learning quickly.
I was paying attention and the first conclusion I came to was. There are beautiful people everywhere in the world and it will stir your emotions.
On to Ukraine, I am starting to get suspicious of these polished professional, expensive Dating sites, that promise everything. Let me say a bought Ukraine, if you think you are being scammed it is easy to get answers. You can hire a private investigator online in Ukraine for a relatively low fee, that will answer your questions, all you need is the basic info, Who and where of your subject. Makes me feel that these people are marked, and have no governmental rights to privacy.
On to China, Let me reaffirm. “If you seek you will find” be careful what you ask for.
There is a male to female ratio: out of balance in china, Chinese woman are in no need of more men seeking there attention, be aware of the fact that if one seems forward or needy, It Is Not True.
South Africa, we are now in a place, that for me will be the first time I have truly experienced the wide spread poverty that is so prominent throughout the world.
And to experience as a compassionate man, the very real needs and plight of the people in these circumstances. There options are very limited and easily understood with any empathy in the mind of the one viewing it.
Let me say simply my reaction to there using me to better there circumstances.
If you lie to me you get $20. dollars if you are truthful with me you get $200. Dollars. This is truly the first time I am able to come eye to eye with myself and my emotion of empathy for fellow human beings of this world.
I needed this in preparation for the rest of my life and possibly what is beyond this mess we call the world that humankind has created.
What I can say is pay attention, every lesson is worth learning.
When trying to decipher info. On direction, the best source is yourself.
That is a reason for educating yourself, there is no shortage of information to be had. Including my input, what I suggest is that you dive in head first, expose yourself unbiased to as much info. From every direction and stance.
And then stand back objectively and try to see the middle, find the commonality of it all and draw your conclusion from that.
Remembering that you, DO Not Wright Anything In Stone, stay open minded continue to learn and trust yourself.
On to the Philippines, I now know that these polished Dating sites/ marriage brokers are guilty of doing to you, exactly what they profess they are protecting you from. I just need proof and conformation to be able to document it.
Still tripping and stumbling around, I fall flat on my face. My money is gone, My heart is broken and worst. I have lost faith in humanity and myself. I feel embarrassed, used and abused, unsure of the road ahead, the fact is. I am alone and afraid and seemingly only a shell of the man I thought I was.
I don’t want this, I am not a nice person at this point. I am fighting back by being angry. I am starting to think maybe being alone is not so bad and that, to me is scary.
I was always in love with the idea of being with my sole mate forever and that now seems to be escaping me.
Somehow in the darkness, quietly in shallow light in a very soft way.
Maybe my desperation and grieving for love, I have called out to the universe. Possibly by the grace of God. Amazing Grace.
I am found by an Angel.
Enter my soft caring, beautiful Filipina.
True to a real relationship and fortunately in the right place at the right time. I have found a friend, someone who not only wants to understand me and my wounds, but also needs my understanding for the wounds and burdens she bears.
We provide and mutually benefit from the informative friendship we are developing. I have problems she has problems, and we become partners and team mates to solve these things. It turns in to, “We are best friends” and good at solving the many issues we have.
We find commonality in goals, and common understanding of views of spiritual conclusion. And suddenly! we realize, We have fallen in love .
Well that is the story I have to tell of finding the one meant for me.
I pray for love in this world and hope, I can assist in others finding, The one meant for them
long Distance love and the beginning of understanding the government’s of two countries and the people and culture of the Philippines.
Set yourself up for success follow us.
Back to About us